As a young Swazi lesbian, growing up hasn't been easy. I'm from a polygamous family and that alone puts you in the altar of expectations. I have learnt to distance myself from family gatherings, societal events and where I'll feel different. I am always brief as I know that dreading will meander to topics that touched my sexuality. As I was at peace with myself, I created my own world, where I'd have conversations and laugh, attend church without the fear of being judged. When I'm at my parental home I never attend church, I drive the family to church and return home with the car to wash it. Mom doesn't have a problem because she knows that I attend church back in my town.
One Sunday, Mom came home with my invitation from the pastor, I laughed it off and never took it serious. It was a Saturday when I drove my sisters to a youth sermon where I met the man of the cloth at the gate. He asked to have a quick word with me. I remembered that invitation Mom mentioned to me. I was confused. My heart was racing, my world was topsy-turvy. My mind replayed stories of people who got prayed for being lesbian, I thought of the embarrassment I'd put mom in, a lot was running in my head. I later composed myself and faced him, he asked why I wasn't coming to church. I gathered my excuses and decided to tell him that I have a church where I live. He was not satisfied as he asked the difference of the two churches, I tried to use few words in my explanations and I failed. I was getting annoyed. In our long conversation the dress code issue started. I was uncomfortable as I knew where this was heading, as I had presumed the sexuality and faith topic was on the table. As he talked my world changed swiftly, I was in joy, I was listening intently as he talked, he mentioned that God lovingly formed me to be who I am, in my mother's womb and that the Lord loved me as His gay child. He said by this, he means he accepts me as I am and I should know that my chair is waiting for me in the church. I was having mixed emotions, I couldn't believe my ears as I started crying at the same time having a surge of relief. My garden was watered. I was overjoyed to speak to the man of the cloth about my sexuality without being judged.
We still speak even today about life in general as He is now one of my support systems.